It doesn’t matter if you are a doctor, a lawyer or professor, a school bus driver, an airline pilot or a politician, your success is determined by your ability to get along with people. And how do you get along with people? I’m glad that you asked. To get along with people you must find a way to capture their hearts. As the old adage goes, if you capture a person’s heart their mind will follow. That’s why we say that you want to win hearts and minds. You don’t hear people say we want to win minds and hearts. Another adage in the consultative sales world is People don’t care how much you know (the mind) until they know how much you care (the heart).
When I was 17 years old growing up in the Detroit area, my Mom handed me the book How to Win Friends and Influence people by Dale Carnegie. I read it in a few days between jobs as a high school kid working as a golf caddie at the country club during the day and bussing tables at the little Italian Restaurant at night. The book amazed me.
Everything that my parents had taught me up until then I was reading in this book. I was astonished. Just the title alone was enough to draw me in! How to WIN Friends and Influence People. You win friends through the heart. You collect hearts! You become the King or Queen of Hearts. And how do you do that? Well, you’ve got to read the book! But get this, once you win the heart of the person and made them your friend, now you have influence with the person whose heart you just won! Now you have influence with that person. Now you can lead that person. As one of my mentors, John C. Maxwell, says “Leadership is influence, nothing more nothing less”!
If you are a leader in business, in a non-profit, in a place of worship, or in your community, then you must become a King or a Queen of Hearts. If you want to engage your team in your mission, if you want to retain top talent, you must become the King or the Queen of Hearts. You as the leader must be the one to reach out, sit down, get face-to-face and begin to connect heart-to-heart with the members of your team or your organization. It will take time. It will take energy. It will require courage. But in the end, you will find that the magic happens in your business when you become the King or the Queen of Hearts.